Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
