Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
