This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
