I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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