Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
