Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Everyone says I win the strip club
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
FUCK WHALES
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