I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
