just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
