i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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