He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
