How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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