come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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