After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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