just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
