I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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