ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
