I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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