no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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