Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
