Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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