Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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