Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
