Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
