you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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