No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
