I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
