Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
