marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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