yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
