I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
