dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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