people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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