we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
