I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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