OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
