Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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