You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
