Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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