He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
