This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
