I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
