I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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