just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
