Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
