i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just puked most of my soul out..
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