My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
