she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
