My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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