i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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