All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
